The high-functioning part of a man’s brain basically shuts down the minute your pants come off. It’s not that we don’t think; our thoughts just become, well, simple. Naked woman. Must touch. But that changes when we go down on you because, suddenly, we have a goal. We need a strategy. And we need to silence and my part of our brains long enough to make you feel totally happy with your decision to get into bed with us. In that moment, here’s what your guy is likely to be thinking.

1. Is That It?

A man’s penis is easy to find. It’s all up in your face like a new Beyoncé song. But your clitoris? It’s more like an original-press Beatles album on vinyl. The early stuff, no less. You can spend hours in a record shop, flipping through the wrong piles. Then suddenly…there it is! Hallelujah!

2: Whoa. Great Angle.

It’s underboob city down here. You look fantastic. We’d be happy to snap some pictures if you’d like.


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